Harmless Death

Never have I,
Sipped anything stronger that a glass,
Of rich,
Dark,
Wine.

But what if,
I,
Want to,
Wake up,
Drunk,
For the rest,
Of my miserable,
Days.

Maybe after my blood,
Has turned to alchohol,
I will be able to eat,
And maybe,
Even,
See,
The people,
I hold close,
In my heart.

I would drink to forget life,
And remember them.

This is why I don't,
Smoke.

My life would me that,
40 seconds,
Of painless,
Drifting.

Hooked.

Somehow drinks seem,
So...
Harmless,
Even though I should know that this,
Is a lie.

I should know,
This the best.

So as my body,
And mind,
Crumbles,
Wilts,
And decays,
Please raise a parting glass,
Of wine for me.

Walking Alone

Empty,

Deserted streets,

Except for a few late night drunks.

Flashbacks,

A new nightmare,

Screaming,

Yelled cursing,

Glass shattered.

I refused,

I chose to break their trust,

And for that,

I walk alone.

I kick a poor stone,

Unfortunate enough to be in my path,

It now resides in the gutter.

Tears fall from my eyes,

I refused,

The words repeating in my head,

I refused,

I said no,

I said no.

I finally had friends,

They were not what I expected,

A hideous demon,

Behind a seductive mask.

Smoke filled the air,

Laughter,

Drugs in every corner,

Everywhere,

Everything,

And I refused.

Bound,

Arms and legs,

Forcing me into a high,

Making me pay for my ‘mistake’

First screaming,

Now reduced to a whimper,

They laughed in my face.

No one came.

Flashing lights,

Pounding on the door,

Spitting on my face on the way out,

Why,

Why did they do this to me?

Oh yeah,

I was the ‘traitor’

Standing on trembling legs,

I walked away,

So here I am,

A proud high loner,

And never again,

Will I allow the monster,

To enter me.

Friendly Stars

Dear friend,


Last night,
I cornered a thought,
Of betrayl.

As I whispered past,
My mothers room,
To see the stars,
I relized,
That I didn't see her as a mother,
Or even as a friend.

The questions I pondered,
As I stared at the stars,
Through a blury glass door,
Made me grieve.

Tears streamed down my face,
When I asked why this was.

But of course,
The constellations had no answer,
For these questions.

So as I drowned myself to sleep,
I reflected life.

Plastic Lock

Once,
In a house,
I found a little chest.

It was fairly small,
No bigger than the palm of my hand,
Not large enough to hold many,
If any treasures,
Yet there was a little plastic,
Lock.

Thinking nothing of it,
I shoved it into my pocket,
And went on with my exploring.

On the walk home,
I took it out,
Cradled it in my hands,
And let my mind free.

When I did this,
Many ideas of what,
Was in the chest came to me.

Perhaps it was a lucky coin,
An old man found on his travels.

Or a shell,
A pregnant woman found on the beach.

Maybe even a bullet,
From World War II.

These are the things that came to mind,
As I sat,
With a pair of plyers,
I knew,
That I would not open it.

It was a chest of memories,
And secrets,
That were not mine.

 The next day,
I returned it to the bare room,
In that house,
And before I left,
I took a picture,
Of the small,
Chest,
With a plastic lock.

Numb Happiness

Beautiful,
A silver horn wrapped in dust,
And flecks of blood.

A mane of silver waves,
Seeping crimson.

Me,
And this,
Thing.

Stare ahead,
Eyes,
Never leaving,
The stars.

Numb Happiness,
So long,
It has been since,
I have felt this,
That it hurts.

Spoken

You have your words,
As self-centered as they are,
Spewing beliefs,
As water.

At least you can speak,
Past lips.

Even if,
You are the victim,
In your own fiction.

At least you can spreak,
Past lips.

On a stage,
You will guide,
Expecting us to abide.

At least you can speak,
Past lips.

What about me,
And my selfish lies,
Will I enjoy the view as everyone dies.

How do I speak,
Past broken lips.

This philosophy,
That I own,
Wishes to be throned.

But how do I peak,
Past broken lips.

Into a room,
You lead me,
Letting the others be.

How do I speak,
Past broken lips.

Sitting at a table,
The chairs soften,
Into something like a coffin.

How do I speak,
Past broken lips.

With a crooked grin,
You speak words,
Like chess boards.

Teach me to speak,
Past broken lips.

I can speak,
And I now stand,
With this band.

Tainted Angel

As I lie awake,
In the dark sky,
I hear your song of madness,
Your screaming voice pierces the night.

I am your angel,
More tainted than the sky,
I watch you,
Hoping to let you know that you are not alone,
That I care,
But...
You continue to sing,
Your voice filled with sorrow,
A deep darkness surounding you,
The years pass.

Women wwho have wronged you,
Men who have spat at your feet,
I wish to make them suffer as much as you have.

I have shed these white wings and now stand before you,
My back scarred,
And I tell you,
My love in words,
But you walk away,
Hearing this before.

At your funeral,
I walk to your coffin,
Polished redwood shining against my last feather,
Long ago turned black and dyed red with blood.

I was too late,
And as I walk to my death,
I sing my song,
Hoping that in the afterlife,
I can finally save you.